00038: Digitalus
We sent out a distress signal, in a passive form.
Too late the rocket that carried our message breached the solar envelope of a distant star. We had long died out.
It wouldn’t have mattered. They had problems of their own.
00037: Intaglio Illumination
I saw the photos.
I saw the people.
It’s ice now,
ice and cold,
with no promise of snow.
All things beautiful
live in their neutral-greys
here.
Hibernation.
While they sleep, we work.
We work in silence.
We work in darkness.
It’s night now,
black and calm,
with no promise of dawn.
All things beautiful
shine with natural light
here.
Compensation.
I saw the photos.
I saw the people.
I was
satisfied.
00036: Grey
I. Denuded winter trees exposing long-abandoned avian ruins, twig architecture.
II. Music like the sound of two broken robots rutting in a scrapyard.
III. The child in me runs in terror from the person I have become.
00035: Persecution Imagined
I’ve been poor. Destitute. Buried under the relentless, crushing weight of insurmountable debt.
I’ve been dead. Clinically dead. Twice. I didn’t learn the lesson the first time.
I’ve been to the bottom, a place where the only lower depth was oblivion.
I’ve been lucky. Or received a fairer share of karmic retribution. Or managed to use the means at my disposal to turn horrors into splendors.
I’ve been a king, a prince among men. I’ve debauched and spread my wealth without care.
I’ve made choices. A great many of them bad. The wrong choices. Choices that led to long periods of suffering.
But I’ve also made good choices, ones that led to prosperity, growth, and advancement.
I’ve gained knowledge.
I’ve learned that impossible is nothing, that this is all a test, a game. There are rules, and they can be broken, but not without penalty.
I’ve learned that everyone must walk their path, and for some it is a well-paved trail and for others it is a bramble-choked trek in the wilderness.
I presume to know no one, since I can’t even comprehend myself.
But onward I walk, and the direction is forward.
(Original render by Moonsia)
00034: Coil
John Lennon wanted world peace
but he couldn’t even quell the conflict that split the Beatles asunder.
00033: Long Distance
Part I
I had a dream we were together,
then I awoke.
Part II
In love, distance is like the relentless waves of the ocean that pound the shores of your resolve.
No matter how strong the seawall, in time erosion will carry it away to some murky depth, eaten by the vast gulf that lies between.
00032: “Outrage”
Impotent under the onslaught
of the unrelenting voice of anonymity.
Even Friends we think we ken
do not provide the constant validation necessary
to keep on.
Swallow it whole, swallow the pride.
Consume the ego not only ours
if we have any hope to survive.
Turn 1
“I’m an academic,” she said.
“Thanks for warning me.”
Turn 2
The door gave way under the relentless shouldering but he hurt himself in the process.
Turn 3
“You see?” he asked. “You’re not alone.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
00031: Eye of Tiger
If you’re not in it to produce the absolute best thing possible, why be in it at all?
00030: “The Fly”
These eyes that do not blink,
these trappings the very definition of your “modern cool”.
I’m all
green and
iridescent
and my wings
shimmer.
They shimmer.
A life in constant motion
I do not sleep with these
lidless eyes.
Rubbing my
forelegs
in glee
over some savory invisible morsel.
I am the fly
and you want me to die.
00029: “Si ence”
Rather than attempting to engage with response-less cunts, it is often better to quiet their noise from out your frame of reference, whether that be an un-follow, a de-friend, or a ripping out of the telephone wire.
00028: “Independence”
It’s like I’m in a space ship
traveling to another star.
Lonely
and distant.
But I have to go on,
for the destination is clear
and there is no turning back.
00027: “A Musing”
Recently I have strange thoughts in my head.
About men and women,
and this world.
About how much men really control
and dominate
the reality of women,
even they don’t know
or can’t see
or understand.
Men are everywhere,
controlling everything.
And even in the way we speak
and act towards women,
even we, men, don’t really understand what we are doing
when we try to control our women
with love
or violence.
Still we try to control,
and I wonder if even basic sexual intercourse
is a kind of
domination or
control
by men?
We push ourselves inside the woman
to reach our orgasm.
Women can often be just a kind of hole
or meat.
It’s quite crazy,
quite serious.
Men grow up and learn to use women,
and women grow up and accept being used,
but this recently seems quite
unbalanced
to me.
Somehow
I could see this
around me
in other people’s talk
and actions
and I wonder how much I
am this kind of victim
and victimizer
of women?
Because it’s impossible to know
it’s like being inside “the Matrix”
and not knowing the outside
even though I can see through a crack
to some wisdom
but
I’m still inside
this world.
I don’t know how to describe my feeling, really.
Not upset,
not frustrated.
Just kind of
tired
to know this.
Maybe disappointed
is the best word.
Well, it’s strange.
So,
I read some extreme viewpoint
from a feminist
who is really against
“penis into vagina” sex.
She felt that putting a penis into her vagina was a kind of violation
of her womanhood.
An attack
into a woman’s body.
And men who just have sex this way,
attacking a woman’s vagina,
even if she’s tired
or sore
she accepts this
to make the man feel good.
So she sacrifices some of herself
to let the man have his pleasure.
It’s not preposterous, I think
in some cases
this may be true
for many men who aren’t aware.
But also
those women who have adapted a position of abstinence,
they understand it,
and accept it,
because of their experience
with those kind of men.
Or
as an excuse
to avoid sex.
Because some women don’t like sex, just naturally
or maybe from some trauma?
So it’s a good way
to say “I don’t like sex because it’s man’s domination of my body”
as an excuse.
Yet
on the other side,
I see women
who love sex
and know how to balance it
in their lives,
and have good partners
or even
more extreme levels
like female “adult entertainers”
who make money
and careers
from such activity.
Could they agree with the extreme feminist’s ideas?
No way, I think.
They are on the opposite end of the spectrum.
But even in balance,
in the center,
still the world around is dominated by men
and pressure to please men
implanted within many women’s minds.
It’s why so much rape
and sexual harassment
and bad relationships
can continue?
I think so, anyway.
But maybe like I was,
when I was a teenager,
hunting for the girl
to put my penis inside,
to feel that and
somehow to win,
to get the girl.
I didn’t think about her feelings.
I only wanted to satisfy myself.
This is maybe a man’s basic disposition.
Or anyway it was my youthful disposition.
From media,
or family,
or something, maybe society?
But I got a tiny bit of wisdom,
to give women more.
To think their pleasure
more important than mine
and get my pleasure from that.
Well it was better, I think.
But I never thought too much about “the world”.
I mean not like now, these strange thoughts in my head.
We are in a strange time now, I think.
I mean “we” as humans.
People are tired of their poor lives.
And women are tired of men’s control.
But there’s so much power arrayed against these people.
Really, impossible to challenge levels of power.
They can fight,
even try revolution,
but they’re not organized enough.
They will die
pointlessly
in this strange world.
I’m not unhappy, not really.
Because I can see my way,
so I’m lucky?
The person who can’t see their way
through these crazy systems
of politics and society
they must be so lost
and afraid.
And so we get revolution,
and strange psychology.
People trying to find reasons
where there are none.
I think the only choice is to survive,
because the only other option is to die.
Or live a life like death,
no passion or ambition or hope,
just fear
and anger.
So much of this I can see now.
And so I have strange thoughts in my head.
